Wednesday, May 22, 2024

5 Realizations on Leaving, Staying, & Going Back “Home”

5 Realizations on Leaving, Staying, & Going Back “Home”

How do you feel about this story?


How often did you change the place where you live? How was it?

If I could help it, I would rather not transfer homes. Instead, I’d stay in just one place all of my life.

For me that is what rootedness means. And, I am after that above all else.

But, circumstances didn’t make that possible. We had to transfer a couple of times when I was a baby, from Mandaluyong to Paranaque.

And growing up, we had to transfer a few more times to stay in Paco, where my mother taught all of her life until she retired, and in Pasay.

I, however, lived separately right after college and spent 25 years with my Angel, the last 10 of which with our dear Bogart, until Bogart too joined our Angel with Our Creator.

It wasn’t easy transferring places and these were really stressful times for me.

Especially for one who suffers asthma flare ups with the slightest change in atmosphere or temperature, this isn’t an easy thing to do.

Having to transfer residences though taught me a lot of things.

For one, it made me realize five things that I wouldn’t have come to terms with to know myself better and be able to accept the inevitable.

1.  I wouldn’t do it without a really serious reason — getting “uprooted” is a traumatic experience. More so without my consent or agreement and, therefore, forcefully or by force of circumstance, it becomes tormenting. And because of that I wouldn’t dwell on this having blacked out those traumatic moments from memory.

If there are things that present themselves with no solution, they aren’t problems. It’s better to accept it as is, pray for the best and for discernment, and to accept what can be accepted, so you can move on.

Easier said than done, but worth a lot in terms of ridding yourself of the stress of resistance.

2.  Home is a special place to grow holistically — anywhere else is either temporary residence or refuge and this is something harder to achieve since I can no longer safely accumulate things, have to live with others, and be very limited in what you do.

If you can’t have a place of your own, with enough creative space, then you are challenged both ways. You can either work to have a bigger space by looking for resources or make do with what little place you have.

Either way, you’re blessed given that many are homeless and many of those with homes have struggles worse than you can imagine with or without their families with them.

3.  My home is my Angel and Bogart — because with or without the physical space, the formal ownership, the territory, everywhere they go becomes my home and there I can be myself, writer, work, sleep, and feel safe and secure even without money, physical walls, or anything.

Family is refuge and home: It may not be your spouse or first of kin, but they could be your friends’ or your distant relatives, too. Anyhow, you need to invest in long-term relationships that go beyond blood.

I remember the saying that homes are where you can go back to any time. Unfortunately, it may not be totally true for me now that I live alone, but you could make any place you go to a haven that welcomes your presence.

4.  I need a physical place to call my own — but this is a dream home with a garden and a library, lots of nature and animals and water, cool and surrounded by trees in the middle of a bustling city… And, my tiny rented room would be just as good, even alone, by myself, since it is where I am me surrounded only by me in peace and quiet.

Peace and quiet and security after all are luxuries now, especially for those who are renting homes, have their actual residences in the provinces, and have lived in cities only to work or while they study.

A physical place where you can safely sleep, rest any time, and have all the time and quiet to recover from sickness is priceless. The body needs to recover from the stress and demands of work or business, too.

And a physical place is something that guards and separates you from the world where you must always perform and do things.

5.  In the absence of everything, the heart is home — and the mind is the world, with all friends and all places becoming a temporary refuge for a nomadic soul!

But, yes, with the cost of real estate and rentals going up, many folks have to do with meager but decent spaces to house their mind, body, and soul. At least for the time being.

However, even the cleanest spic-and-span armspan of space may prove lacking if you don’t have a clear mind, an open heart, and a kind soul to go back to when all things of this earth prove too much for you.

In the end, we find rest, peace, and quiet with ourselves — and that’s where the real home is, the physical body we borrow, to make the most of our lives on Earth.

So, stay safe and be healthy everyone.

You are your home, so love yourself!

Thank you Quoran Dimitry Ivanov for asking me this question.

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